What's up all you marathoners? I'm not talking to the real runners, I'm talking to the "man that looks fun I should do it" amateur want-to-be-in-shape-and-fit-in-my-old-clothes-that-i-payed-alot-of-money-for runner.
Why are there so many of you? did i miss the meeting? are they giving away new flat screens or something?
26 miles? really? Just go to the mall and do some speed laps, eat a burger, buy some bigger clothes and a ribbon, then call it a day.
What? You are "training for a marathon"?....really? I saw you the other morning training, looked like you were about 15 miles in, and your face and body did not look like you wanted to be there.
do you really need to run a marathon? just get that thing chuck norris sells. Then you can be in shape and kick people's butt.
You know what I think: I think you just want the cool clothes and that paper number thing that identifies you as a "marathon runner", so you can talk about it FOREVER to all your friends.
News for you "walker" marathoners: Nope, you can't do it. You can't walk. I know you want to, but if you do, you give all the rights of calling yourself a real marathoner. All that hard work down the drain. You can't walk. I can do that. You need to take a step back and do a walking marathon.
You know what else, why they always have to run marathons in the city streets where it's the most populated....i do not want to be stopped by the cops why i watch all of you "walk" by. I got fatty foods to go eat. PLEASE, someone in the marathon industry please buy some land out of the middle of nowhere...I don't know, 27 miles worth, make a track, and run on it. You can even put some buildings and stop signs in there to make it look like a city. You could call it "Runstock". Then you can just run all your marathons there.
Or, you could just send all the marathoners to the moon to run. Of course they would need space suits. Then they wouldn't have to train because there is no gravity. They can just jump around 26 miles or so. That's it, send the marathoners off to the moon.
So to all the "marathon" want to be's,,,,,take off
Cyclists....your next.
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