Tour de Seguin Takeoff!

Note to self:

Self...even though you are overweight, don't do it!  Don't enter that cycling marathon!  I know you like to ride a bike, but don't!  Just stick to pretend riding.  I know you took that cycling class in college and you think you can ride forever, but don't!  That was then, this is now.   Just send the money to the organization you are raising the money for, and call it good.  save the sweat....

...and don't even think about buying that over priced 57-speed bike you can't pronounce with those invisible wheels with that tiny seat with those crazy shaped handle bars made in some part of Italy that I can't fit on, and pretend to ride it like you know what your doing.  YOU CAN'T EVEN RIDE A BIG WHEEL!

...and do you really think you can go fast on that "cycle"?  You know you won't ever get over 5 miles an hour!   Skateboarders are passing you!  Those cars who are being held up by that police officer can't wait forever!  They have places to go.   If you can't ride with speed with a 57-speed cycle, then give it to someone who could use it, the "pretend marathoner".

...and whatever you do, don't buy that pretend "tour de whatever" cycling suit thinking that you are "suppose" to look like that in it.  YOUR NOT!  Your suppose to look like those dudes in the Tour de France.   Buy that Chuck Norris thing first, get rid of the rolls, then get you a sweet skinny cycling suit and then RIDE LIKE THE WIND!  But until then, don't hurt people's eyes...

...and don't even think about the triathlon.

Just curious, does every small town in the world have to have a cycling marathon?  Aren't those resevered for European towns?  I was driving through Seguin, Texas one early morning about two months ago when an officer stopped me at a stop sign.  "Hold it please!" he said.  Now this was early, and it was outside of town, no one around...except for those two "not in shape" cyclists coming from the east on cycles they don't seem to be riding correctly.  They were going maybe 2 miles an hour.  "What?  You want me to wait for them?  They are 1/2 mile away and they aren't even moving".   "Really?  Wait?"  I could run a marathon by the time they rode by me.  So, I did(n't).  Just thought about it (I had time.)

Well, I waited, then I wondered (a lot of time to wonder)....Why is there even a cycling race in Seguin, Texas?  This is the pecan capital.  When did it get all European?   Will someone in the cycling world buy some land out in the middle of nowhere and build a track on it and let people run their cycle marathons on it all day, everyday, everyweek, and so on.  You can call it "Cyclestock!"

Why do you always have to run or cycle to raise money?  Couldn't the out of shape just write a check and save themselves, and others, some pain?

Do you need a physical to enter a cycling race?

What do the serious cyclists think of the not-so-serious cyclists?  I think all out of shape cyclists (only those who wear the tight outfits that don't fit them thinking they actually do) should be shipped to the moon so they can ride around with the jumping marathoners.  There is no gravity, but they will need space suits and space-cycles.  And they will all be doing about the same speed.

Ok all future Tour-de-Seguin's and "not so ready to ride cyclists", it's time for you to...3-2-1-Takeoff!


Oh, did I mention I am training for a marathon?  I'll blog about it tomorrow....